Sports n shit

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Jesus take the wheel!

I've come to one of two conclusions. Either blogging's hard, or i'm bad at it. It has to be the first one though because i'm awesome and I do awesome things, that's just a fact. Unfortunately no one came here to talk about me though, which is a damn shame, so lets get to the matter at hand.

With Football season kicking off(pun intended) and the FIFA world cup happening earlier in the year, aka poor people football, I feel like this is the perfect time to talk about today topic. Baseball hasn't been America's past time sense Lou Gehrig was known for anything other than crippling disease and attention whores pouring ice water over their heads. The land of the rising sun kamikazed all over that shit in retaliation to us bombing them and have been holding it hostage ever sense.

And we're not giving it back

ESPN can play all those bull shit "love of the game" commercials they want, they have no idea what real fans look like. The Japanese go ape shit over baseball, it's like church for them. There are rituals that take place at every game along with specific chants for players and events, and they all now them perfectly. The first game only game I went to I remember see a band section and remarking on how their uniforms didn't match. Turned out it was because that wasn't an official band. It was just a group of fans, who showed up with instruments, and were playing them together, perfectly. THE FUCK IS THAT! you don't get that shit any where else! Once again they some how match up perfectly with the rest of the fans who are all knocking tinny baseball bats together and chanting. Then during half time both teams mascots come out and do a little dance followed  by the home teams mascot(who happened to be the philly phanatic's japanese cousin?) firing the obligatory t-shirt cannon.....assisted by ninjas.

like all mythical creatures any photo has to be taken in the lowest resolution possible

And then they chant the Hiroshima Carp theme song, which if you don't learn the first time don't worry, it'll be popping up multiple times through a good Carp's game.

Key take away from this video is a nervous philley phanatic wear a Cincinati hat

But none of this compares to the creme de la creme, and that's the inflated condoms balloons. Walking up to the stadium you'll see everyone is selling these packs of balloons condoms, and at the end of the seventh everyone in the stadium blows these things up and starts chanting and waving them around like the big phallic symbol they are before releasing them into the air.

Insert foul ball joke here

They took baseball and Japanesed all over it, but all that aside they truly do have an intense love for the game. Try all you want though you can take the game out of America but you can't take the America out the game. 

I'm gona finish by leaving ya'll with this.

Pun totally intended. BOOM!!!!